Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich continues to be a polarizing figure in America. But fear not! The coauthor of Contract with America is always good for another tale or two, regaling youngsters with "The Three Little Pigs and the Perils of Subsidized Housing," "Cinderella and the Glass Ceiling," and "Hillary the Snow Queen—to name just a few. These rehabilitated "classics" and many more would be required bedtime reading under the regime of President Gingrich—or "Uncle Newt" as he likes his little pals to call him. Yes, all the orphans at the new Boy's Town, their bellies full of ketchup, will be enraptured by these GOP fairy tales celebrating the Contract with America and cautioning youngsters about the evil Welfare State of long ago. These bedtime stories might keep you awake all night.