"it's called a spade" is a reference to calling life like it is instead of hiding the tough stuff and pretending like everything is fine. It's a collection of stories about life, about people and God, recovery and relapse, heartache and brokenness, and the reality that life is hard, even if you believe in God, even if you don't. But there is also hope and humor and healing that comes without answers. This is a collection of stories from a human who almost disappeared in her efforts to be seen, a girl who called spades hearts and smiled while bluffing.