If you're a mom (or mom-to-be) who wants to raise decent human beings, maintain your pre-baby identity and not lose your sh*t along the way, congrats: you've just found the parenting book of your dreams.

The Rebel Mama's Handbook for (Cool) Moms is a girlfriend's guide to early motherhood. It's the Coles Notes for all those boring baby books you never get through. It's the instruction manual you wish your kid(s) came with—complete with cocktail list.

Welcome to motherhood. Let's do this . . .