There are certain moments in life when you need some real classy poetry. Well, here it is! Celebrate holidays and other "special" occasions like you really mean it and/or just don't give a damn. Also, go ahead and recite these classy poems at a party if you want. What do I care? Hey, did you know members of the opposite sex like poetry recitations? These poems, using state-of-the-art technology, are designed with your peak performance in mind. And I think you know what I mean by "performance."