I want to set the record straight: Police officers are not the dark, humourless souls you see on TV and in the movies.

I should know; I'm an ex Metropolitan (London) Police Officer.

Yes, police work is stressful and dangerous. Police men and women see and do things that would make your hair stand on end.

But through it all we keep our sense of humour. In fact, the humour is the secret weapon that keeps police officers sane and makes doing a tough job just that little bit easier.

You won't find stories about the dark side of police work in these pages, although that obviously does exist. Behind the uniform you will catch a glimpse of the laughter, pranks, good natured teasing and lifelong camaraderie that exist between police officers.

To protect the guilty, some of these stories are from a place some cops call 'rumour control' but most are true stories that I experienced during my time in the police service during the late eighties and early nineties.