Anne is a professional wedding hostess at the most beautiful of the opulent mansions along Newport's seashore. She knows the smile she beams at her guests doesn't have to be sincere, just present. She's managed to maintain the illusion of pleasant composure through ten years of rowdy guests and sobbing brides. However, tonight Anne is afraid she won't be able to hold her tongue, let alone her smile: The wedding from hell has landed on her beautifully manicured lawn.

The perfect bride may hope her wedding is beautiful, but would never tell her sister to lose thirty pounds or lose her invitation. The perfect groom might be sad his stag days are over, but could be trusted with the babysitter. The perfect father of the bride may not have had a model marriage, but would never parade his brand new trophy wife in front of his bitter ex-wife. But this is not a perfect wedding.

From the caterer to the groom to the barmaid, everyone involved tells the story of a disaster in the making. A romp through the kind of wedding we all want to hear about—but never experience—How (Not) to Have a Perfect Wedding will leave you cringing with delight.