Every great adventure should include properly prepared snacks...

You wouldn't believe that a simple boy like me, abandoned by his mother to the traveling cutlery trader Master Thorn, could rescue the Red Bean Princess. How I journeyed the seventeen kingdoms, crossed the Gorge of Razors carrying a fully laden cart on my shoulders, defeated the vicious but rather lazy Lion of Og, and attempted to converse with a whale-sized mermaid.

You'd be right not to believe me, because I didn't do ALL those things. But I will tell you about the most succulent fruit pies known across Inner and Outer Pang, each of the stray dogs (and monkey) that followed Master Thorn's clanking cart, the new form of cutlery I invented, and the true story of how I reunited the Red Bean Princess with her people and fabulous tiara. I'll probably also mention how I saved her queendom, in case you haven't yet heard the epic lute ballads describing it.