An amazing once in a lifetime opportunity came our way just last month. It was scary in its scale and ominous in its promise of bombarding us with mountains of criticism, but overall it gave us the keys to the building. We're not talking any old building here.

We proudly present the brand-new space-age power-centre for making a significantly better future for our part of the world. No, I'm not talking about a visit by the British royal family, or by any actor, politician, tiktok sensation or musician. I am talking about an explosion of new action formats for team sports down under. We have a lot of tough planning ahead of us, but we're SO GLAD we got our offer cash accepted, that we struck a deal and are now in possession of everything we require to make our biggest dreams become reality. Now the future is ours.

By buying the whole product, along with the rights to this portion of all existing player contracts that come with it, our company has obtained the official power to expand, rethink and replace the state of origin game completely. Yes, we could have kept it in its tired old format, but we opted for the hard to win people over route of change and renewal. With unthinkable power comes unthinkable responsibility.

Now that our ambitious young and energetic new company, Relaunch, has this power, let's make absolutely sure that we use it to the best of our ability. We are not the sort of entity who just wants to profit maximise, to think short-term, to flourish through injury and car crash tellie, to dumb down to the lowest common denominator or to run a series of high-profile showdowns to which everybody knows the likely outcome in advance.

Nevertheless, the full package rights, remit, office, management, officials, governing body and product purchase of all state of origin and all locality and 'statoid' events in Australia in a rare and unique auction to benefit all the major governing bodies in one go has given our company substantial debt, which we will need to try to manage in a clever and mature longtermist way. We are committed to restricting the growth of our debt over the next three years and to paying it off in full over the next 14 years after that.

Each contributing factor has been planned out, and now we must hope and pray that reality sticks to the script that we have written for it. We can deal with a few disappointments as they pop up, as well as with a few mistakes, difficult political and weather circumstances and unexpected disasters, but let's be clear: if more goes wrong than what our loan terms can handle, our utopia is at stake and we could go bust!

The plans have been worked on with careful consideration of our higher ethical values, with special emphasis given to the desire to come up with a new format of state of origin sports for Australia that will have way more than two teams who could realistically win the top prize with a strong performance, and we insist on achieving this without shuffling players over to states that need more – which would ruin the purity, the definition and the framework of the state of origin system we know and love. Rather than have most teams stay massive outsiders and underdogs forever, as would otherwise have occurred, our new vision will bring in different frontrunners from year to year, without shifting the boundaries that much.

Our new utopias will be giving lots of big and small areas a turn at the top and a roller-coaster ride of genuine excitement all over the top five, the top ten and the places beneath, all striving for a place in the top ten, all bringing heightened viewer involvement and a moderated and decreased likelihood of disappointment too, while...