As a former Mormon missionary, author Johnny Townsend understands LDS mission culture. In these stories, a young missionary can't get permission to see a doctor about the lump on his testicle until he can convince his mission president he isn't masturbating. A sadistic mission leader torments a young missionary. A sister missionary fulfills her community service requirement by babysitting for a prostitute.

Two bored missionaries decide to make a little extra money moonlighting in a male strip club. Two frustrated elders find an acceptable way to masturbate-by donating to a Fertility Clinic. A lonely man searches for the favorite companion he hasn't seen in thirty years.

And if you want even more missionary tales, check out Townsend's fictionalized memoir of his own mission, A Gay Mormon Missionary in Pompeii, and his novels Wake Up and Smell the Missionaries and Have Your Cum and Eat It, Too.