It's inappropriate to wish for your ex-husband to be run over by a truck.

The same goes for dressmakers, flower delivery people, and snotty little hotel concierges who mess up room reservations. But I don't care. I'm not too proud to admit my daughter's wedding has me stressed out.

Okay, maybe I'll only wish for a very small truck to hit him. Twice.

There are a thousand things that require my attention, but it's impossible to be productive when all I can think about is the boiling rage I feel every time I look at my ex and his bimbo-of-the-week.

I'm trying to pull it together, but everything that can go wrong has. I just need a break and a little pick-me-up. An afternoon getting lost in the local market should do the trick.

That's when a pirate's loss becomes my gain. My strange and beautiful new trinket is anything but ordinary. And suddenly everything in my life is falling into place.

You know what they say about wishes? It's best to be careful when making them. If you don't know the difference between what you want and what you need, the consequences could be deadly.

Or hilarious.