Following her husband's death in October 2014, 'Kay Buckby', as she wishes to be known, stumbled upon a number of shocking revelations within his diaries and notebooks. Deciding to expose her discoveries, she contacted an Irish ghostwriter to compile her husband's ephemera into a book. You hold the result in your hands. Numb is the story of 'Alan Buckby', as told in his own words. A war correspondent for more than two decades, he led a double life, appearing to be a regular family man while at home in London, but immersed in sadism and depravity while on overseas assignments. 'Alan Buckby' reported on a number of global conflicts. Detailed within his notebooks were his observations from the ongoing wars in modern-day Iraq and Syria, as well as the conflicts in 1990s Sarajevo and 1980s Northern Ireland. In addition to these glimpses into his professional life, the notebooks and diaries also narrated his personal life, from his childhood in the UK to his post-university years in Paris and his home life in London. This document is not just a chronicle of 'Alan Buckby's'life and work. It is also a chronicle of his efforts to understand his own fascination with torture, sexual violence and murder, and his wife's attempt to understand how the man she knew as her husband and the father to her children could have been involved in such horrors.