Bill the Vampire

audiobook (Unabridged) A Horror Comedy · The Tome of Bill

By Rick Gualtieri

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THERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE NIGHT. HE'S NOT ONE OF THEM.

My name's Bill Ryder and I have no life, but not because I enjoy video games or D&D. I literally have no heartbeat thanks to the night I met Sally. She was too good to be true, a woman to die for. So I did.

Problem is, I didn't stay dead.

Now I'm a vampire, surrounded by other vamps who are stronger and faster – not to mention better looking. It's enough to give a guy a complex. Worse, their leader, a douche called Night Razor, can't stand me.

It might be because he can't control me like the rest, or maybe it's because he's a dick. Either way, he's given me ninety days to prove I'm not an embarrassment to his coven. 

If I fail, my ass is toast, but I'll need help if I want to survive. Too bad my roommates are more interested in setting me on fire, while Sally's just using me to further her own agenda - whatever the hell that is.

Needless to say, things don't look good. I may be a blood-sucking predator of the night, but I'm still at the bottom of the food chain.

—————

Bram Stoker meets Shaun of the Dead in Bill The Vampire – book one of The Tome of Bill, the vampire comedy series that'll leave you thirsting for more.

If you're a fan of Christopher Moore, Jim Butcher, or What We Do in the Shadows, this hilarious horror comedy will keep you entertained from dusk till dawn.

Don't miss out on this bloody good time! Grab your copy of Bill The Vampire now and prepare to die laughing.


Content Warning: This book contains violence, gore, crude humor, and a buttload of swearing.

Bill the Vampire