"This here place? Disagreeable as the backside of Hades."

~ Hank Varney

First let me say, this here trip to Slagton weren't my idea. This place is chock full of bad company done helped itself to a double dose of bad medicine.

Slagton needs cleanin', accordin' to Miss Clem, and I know the crew to do it. I'm one of 'em. Hank Varney's the name. Miss Clem and me, along with the two Sidewinders from Santa Fe—we'll get the sharp-toothed vermin cleared out.

Now, some people say I'm lucky, but I don't know if'n it'll do me any good, what with the army of trouble me an' the crew are facin'. If'n we don't live through it, well, there goes Deadwood. Maybe even the whole of the Black Hills.

We'll all be down the privy hole then, lookin' up at the Backside of Hades.