My plan was simple. Serve a full-time mission. Graduate from BYU. Get married. Stick it out till death.

That's not what happened.

I began school at BYU, hoping to strengthen my faith while I searched for love. That's when I met both Claire and Easton.

Claire was the girlfriend who offered a chance at eternal marriage but at the cost of my faith. Easton was the boy who promised a fresh perspective on life but at the risk to my schooling. I knew who I wanted, and who I was supposed to want.

Despite fearing I was gay, a faithful life was my only goal. But Bishop Stoll loomed over me with the power to remove me from BYU, making suicide an ever-more attractive escape.

I had embarked on an honest search for answers, but the fallout of my actions threatened to take away much more than my education.