Will the Vampire Veronique find happiness as Planet Heart's first Revamp? Will she be able to look the Sun God Orb in the face, see herself in the mirror, and eat a pistachio—all remaining immortal? It does seem a lot to ask.

Still—where the miracle-making Vampire scientists Vladimir and Vivika Vilms are involved, the impossible has a way of losing the "im" part.

Ignore the reviews below and read this crackerjack book.

Insider Reviews of Revamp! Only Slightly Expurgated

"No Earthling should be allowed to read this book." -The Cognosphere

"Fantastical is what I sez. Dinna believe a word of it." -Wisdam Hecate McCleary, daughter of Griselda, daughter of Hildegard, daughter of Razzle, daughter of Morag, daughter of Wilhelmina.......

"I am not a baby, and I do not lithp!" -Cupid

"Frippery of the worst kind." -Wisdam Wicca Pedia, Archivist of the Bodewellian Library

"Could cause an interplanetary incident." -Trumble T. Terwilliger, Brook U's Chair of Interplanetary Guesswork

"For a romp of peerless prose and rib-rattling wit I recommend P. J. Wodehouse. -Gossamer Riddle, Elf-Human Composer in Residence

"A flagrant breach of common sense." -Sylvester Longstretch, Astrophysicist

"I just flipped through it." -Serena the Manatee

"Can't hold a candle to my Harleykins Romances." -Clarinetta Lovelace, nee Borax, novelist

"Not worth the paper the Daily Pulse is printed on." -Ace Fleetstreet, Reporter

"A work of towering genius." -The Author