Christmas is Hell

ebook The Magicians

By Rachel Lawson

cover image of Christmas is Hell

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The Manchurian Candidate
A darkly funny Christmas story.
It was a strange day when Blake Alexander found out about this odd case everyone at his hospital wanted to decorate the hospital for Christmas drunk on the Christmas cheer.
But that was nothing the reapers were trying to get the after life business in line with fate's decree that they celebrate Christmas with reapers collecting people as Santa Clauses which Blake was totally against. To him it was an anathema. He felt like scrooge It was getting so Christmasy the people at the hospital had stopped calling him Dr Death on the upside but on the downside they called him the Grinch.
He was in a bad mood when he visited the police station which was trimmed for Christmas too.

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
It's Christmas again and everything is crazy again and Blake Alexander is suffering from it's madness again the Necromancer gives his dad a present a black T shirt with the Grinch on saying I hate Christmas on it from the Deject shop. Gabriel is giving out cute fuzzy Santa hats again and the hospital is gone mad with Christmas.
In the afterlife Blake's boss Argent has decided to bring back the Christmas spirit again with the Jack Skellingtons are making a comeback everywhere.
How far will this madness go?
Will the police get what they want for Christmas the serial killer the Necromancer's name or will the miss their present the living reaper Mortimer signed seal and delivered to them by Argent himself.
"You need Brandy," said Argent making a glass of it appear in his hand and handed it Mortimer. "But I don't drink," said Mortimer. "You can and must it's Christmas," said Argent. "Okay it's your party," said Mortimer, "Salute!" Mortimer said and drank. He ended up in wet Santa suit. "Why are you covered in drink that's not in the spirit of the season," said Argent. "I said I don't drink I'm a skeleton! What did you expect to happen?" Moaned Mortimer. 

The Grinch returns

Christmas carols rang around the photo with Santa area a child wandered up to Santa Claus and sat on his lap. "What do you want little boy," moaned Santa who sounded like he would rather be somewhere else. Nearby Santa's adult son watched him joyfully. "I cannot believe you got Blake playing Santa again he hates Christmas," said Santa's wife Angela to her stepson. "It wasn't me It was Argent a Santa in the Santa's agency was murdered. He's undercover as Santa to find the killer," said Santa's son Lance. Lance left his stepmother and walked over to his father shouting "Grinch, are you trying to steal Christmas again?" Santa moaned and tossed off the child ignoring him. "What do you want, boy to kill Christmas too," Santa moaned at his serial killer son. "The Grinch has to go feed the dead, come back later," said Lance glaring with eyes like fire at the nervous crying children who wanted to sit on Santa's lap. "Congratulations you've killed Christmas," moaned Santa feeling pity for the scared children, "Ignore the bad man he's getting coal for Christmas." "I'm not going there, dad," said his son knowing giving coal was unwoke and he could have said many things but didn't. "Oh come with me you brat!" said Santa dragging his son away.

Christmas is Hell