This book shines a light on three major differences between a child's brain and an adult's brain. When we adults know about these differences, we can understand how much is lost in translation when we interact with children.

Without any intention from our side, children can pick up distorted messages about their own self- worth from our day -to-day interactions with them. This affects their beliefs about themselves and they can make shaky on the inside and defensive on the outside. 'Upset', 'angry 'or 'super good' behaviors manifest.
When we adults realise that these behaviors are not deliberate and are a symptom of this shaky internal state, we adjust our attitude to the children in our lives. we can stop focusing in their behavior and we can step away from 'fixing' or 'rewarding' behavior. We can start to understand how children experience and interpret the world, and we can interact differently and reduce the distorted messages that get through to them.

In time children start feeling less shaky and more secure. Their self-worth grows. They manifest behaviors that show us they have skills of self-reflection, self-confidence and an ability to live responsibly in this world. Childhood does not become 'baggage' carried into their adult lives.

The author, Sudha Kudva, is a registered and licensed Counsellor, Certified Play Therapist and Supervisor for Play and Creative Art Therapies. In addition she has trained in Couple Therapy, Trauma Work, Regression Therapy and NLP. She has worked with children presenting various behavioral issues including bed-wetting, stealing, lying , pooping inappropriately , sexual abuse and psychosomatic issues. She works systemically with adults- individuals, couples, families and children ranging from 3-81 years old. She also supervises trainees wishing to become play therapists or practitioners of therapeutic play. She also facilities workshops to support adults understand children and speak the language of the child.

Some statements I've heard repeatedly over the course of my journey are as follows:

"My son keeps saying, 'I hate you, I hate you.' All because I didn't give him some ice cream when he wanted to eat it... I feel so small and rejected by this little 5-year-old... I know I mustn't take him seriously, yet I cannot stop feeling the way I do. I notice myself. I want to interact less with him than my daughter. And guess what... his behaviors get worse. How do I stop this pattern?"

"I'm doing my very best for my child; she has the latest iPhone, computer, and the best extracurricular activities she wants to go to. I deny myself so much to be able to give these things to my child. For example — my phone, my computer, my things, they are many years old, I don't mind this. What really hurts me is when she says I don't care for her, worse still, that I've never cared for her".

"I would do anything and I am doing everything in my power to make my son happy. Why did he tell me yesterday, 'I wish I could end it all!' I'm scared. Is my child trying to threaten me or manipulate me, or is this feeling real? I will do whatever it takes to help my child, tell me what I need to do."

"In the past I would confiscate her toy for a short period of time, and her behavior seemed to improve; now that tactic doesn't work. Last month I took away her favorite toy, and when I gave it back to her, she didn't seem to want it. What do I do now?"

Why doesn't my son approach me if he needs assistance in math, science, or English? He says he can do it; and then the results come out.... His grades are not good enough."

"Children are supposed to bring pleasure and joy; and many a time I...