By Grace, I Dance

ebook Surviving Suicide, Manic Depression, and Marriage

By Rev. Meryl Ann Olson

cover image of By Grace, I Dance

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By Grace, I Dance is an intimate memoir and self-help book, detailing the author's early traumas and triumphs, and the development of her mental illnesses, bipolar disorder (manic depression) and post-traumatic stress disorder. It tells of successes and failures in addressing her illness.


In life's journey, the author dealt with incest, her father's divorce and remarriage to his ex-wife's best friend, and betrayals by family members and lovers. She found her guru, Swami Muktananda, was married and divorced twice, gave birth naturally to three children without medication, and attempted suicide multiple times.


She writes: "On June 11, 1987, following a three-month period of hopelessness, self-doubt and fear I shot myself in the right side of my head at point blank range with a 22 caliber Beretta pistol my husband brought home one afternoon for protection and target practice. It is a miracle that I am still alive to tell you this story."

By Grace, I Dance