For the Readers
I do not know where this book finds you or how you came across it, but I'd like for you to know what it means to me. In a nutshell, this book is and has been my healing: both the process and the manifestation. Before I began writing and compiling, I survived a series of unfortunate events that had me broken and unnerved spiritually, mentally and physically. I retreated from friends and family. I hid my pain and my glaring vulnerabilities so I could appear strong. In truth, it was the longest lie I had helped maintain. I didn't know who to turn to, or if I could even turn. Every time I thought I was down and out, there was another downer that put me further under. When anyone attempted to encourage me with the cliché "up is the only way left to go," I learned "down" can be eternal; truth be told it was "down" where I spent most of my time, so much so I was forced to set up camp. It was there, at the rock bottom of rock bottoms, that I learned the taut feeling of despair and the claustrophobia of hopelessness. Pain made me clang as it clung closer than lovers clinging their missed loved ones. I learned to breathe, even when it hurt doing the rounds (inhale/exhale); and it was there, intermingled amongst the laboured routines, that this alphabetically cathartic medical meditation ushered itself on a creative surfboard, riding on a wave of hope; doing gnarly cowabungas on the forefront of my mind. The idea was there, some of the material too, but I wasn't ready. I wasn't whole, nor was I close. In a sense, it was still loading. I found myself once, years ago. I knew me, but before this book, I seemed rather unfamiliar. I was me, but not me enough to meet the task before me. I had to re-find me, wherever I was, to see whoever I'd become during the time I ignored me. This book helped; it helped me re-find and then refine me, and in the refining, I was able to redefine me. You have your own journey ahead of you. I only hope you diligently seek with the intention to find, then meticulously refine, only to honestly redefine, if not define, yourself. Life is your journey; find, address and repair you. Your happiness depends on it.