It is a fact that the average male bladder can hold approximately a pint of liquid. This quantity is somewhat greater in an Irishman. The bladder of a healthy Irishman can generally hold at least 750ml or nearly one and a half pints. However, there are exceptions to every rule and every so often a male with a much larger capacity than normal appears and with a bit of training and determination his bladder can, in fact, accomodate an amount significantly greater than the average. In the case of Johnny Two Kebabs it is well known that before having to relieve himself he has, on occasion, imbided up to four pints of lager. In this fifth instalment of Johnny's memoirs he relates how his "enhanced bladder capacity" helped prevent a terrorist attack by the Cornish separatist group the C.N.L.O.