Dear Hotter than Hades Wannabe,

Let me fill you in on a secret. Football players do not run the world, and they certainly do not get to run mine. To be honest, I don't even know the difference between a quarterback and a tight end. Well, that's a bit of a lie. I love me a good tight end...but do not distract me. You can bat your big blue eyes at me any day of the week, and I will feel nothing. You're not God's gift to women, no matter what your mama told you. Yes, we had one night together. And no, I didn't know you were "The Brad Chambers." Like I said, I don't follow football. I didn't leave my purse in your apartment because I was trying to ensure you would call me again. I couldn't care less. And no, I don't want a repeat performance of that night. It wasn't that memorable. I hope this will get you to stop emailing me now. And no need to send me VIP tickets. Not interested.

Sincerely,

The Hottest Three-Night Stand You Will Ever Have

P.S. You would be so lucky to get another night with me!