Marriage's central role in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints distinguishes the faith while simultaneously reflecting widespread American beliefs. But what does Latter-day Saint marriage mean for men? Holly Welker presents a collection of essays exploring this question. The essayists provide insight into challenges involving sexuality, physical and emotional illness, addiction, loss of faith, infidelity, sexual orientation, and other topics. Conversational and heartfelt, the writings reveal the varied experiences of Latter-day Saint marriage against the backdrop of a society transformed by everything from economic issues affecting marriage to evolving ideas about gender.

An insightful exploration of the gap between human realities and engrained ideals, Revising Eternity sheds light on how Latter-day Saint men view and experience marriage today.

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Foreword: Mormon American Masculinities, Ideal and Actual Patrick Q. Mason xi

Acknowledgments xv

Introduction: Personal, Contingent, and Incomplete Views on Eternal Marriage Holly Welker 1

Part I. Revised Expectations
Transgressors Stephen Carter 19

A husband considers the ways his happy

marriage violates the ideal praised by the

Proclamation on the Family

By the Drinking Fountain Eric Robeck 25

A couple's relationship seems like a Latter-day

fairy tale—until he loses his faith

My One and Only Clyde Kunz 31

A gay man considers the way Latter-day Saints'

expectations for straight marriage affect his own

search for a relationship

There's Something about Mary Kim Siever 37

A husband learns to love his wife more deeply by

studying the example of her love for him

For Jess, after Eighteen Years of Marriage: Seven Fragments on Love; Or, Some Things I Carry Tyler Chadwick 42

In a love letter to his wife, a husband lists some

of the familiar mysteries he cherishes in their

marriage

An Apology I've Been Working on for a While Joey Franklin 44

A husband reflects on the division of labor in

his marriage and how it affects his and his wife's

senses of self

Never Good Enough Michael Carpenter 52

A lifetime of failing to meet Latter-day Saint

ideals exacts a tragic cost

Mormon AF Nicholas Don Smith 58

A stand-up comic from American Fork, Utah,

reflects on what it means to be Mormon and

single

Liken the Scriptures Andrew Spriggs 63

A young husband realizes that his gay marriage

is the most Mormon thing about his life

The Care Package Kevin Barnwell 71

A husband who has left the church works to find

the perfect anniversary gift for his still devout wife

Part II. Sex and Its Consequences
Fertility Theric Jepson 77

After the birth of their fourth child, a husband

undergoes a vasectomy to spare his wife any

more worry about fertility

Opposites Robert Raleigh 82

Newlyweds discover that their intense physical

attraction is not a strong enough basis for a

happy marriage—or even a satisfying sex life

Eternity in an Hour Boyd Jay Petersen 92

On the eve of a trip abroad, a husband learns

that his wife of thirty-three years is gay, after

which they negotiate a respectful separation

Pie Month Scott Russell Morris 105

A young couple agrees to eat pie every day during

the month of March 2014 while they also try to

conceive a child

The...