Finalist, 2018 Arthur Ellis Award for Best First Crime Novel.

Robin MacFarland is a somewhat eccentric and highly intelligent journalist for the Home and Garden section of a Toronto paper, who at age fifty-five looks aghast in the mirror and pronounces herself, "Old. Fat. Alcoholic. Alone. Failure." She resolves to lose weight, quit drinking, and try online dating, although not, perhaps in quite that order. The intrigue begins when Robin chooses to cover a water cooling system conference where she thinks there will be a lot of men. By coincidence, her first online date is with the owner of the water company who is found dead after they have coffee. Dauntless, Robin wades into what is now a murder investigation, under the supervision of her new editor, and with the help of her best friend, Cindy, a crime reporter. The novel is framed around a plot to steal Canada's fresh water, but it hinges on Robin's hilarious journey through the middle portion of her life, a serious social issue, and a highly ironic murder weapon.