I lay each night

holding the rope inside my mind

using darkness to push it aside

it is but one that ties me to life

it is but one that gives me the why

but still I feel the fibers of the rope

as it twists in my mind

I feel the coarseness against my throat

the tightening of my windpipe being closed

I feel the release and the letting go

but then I see the eyes of the one I will leave alone

so I fall asleep, I get up and I just go