But I Didn't Mean That!

ebook How to Avoid Misunderstandings and Hurt Feelings in Everyday Life

By Richard Heyman

cover image of But I Didn't Mean That!

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If you don't do it yourself, you certainly know someone who is forever putting a foot into his or her mouth. This person has raised the tasteless, thoughtless, tactless, or otherwise terrifically awful remark into an art form. If there is a wrong place, a wrong time, or a wrong person to whom to say anything, they're on the spot and on the ready. And though we can joke about it (at the right time, of course), careless speech is no laughing matter. Words really can hurt-not only the person at whom they're aimed but the speaker, too, whose relationship, career, and social prospects can all suffer as a result of unmindful speech.

Fortunately, this book can help even the most scandalous mis-speaker. It outlines six simple questions, called Q-Points (Questions of Positive Thinking and Speaking) for readers to keep in mind before they speak. Who am I speaking to? What am I not seeing? Where will my words get me? How will the other person react to my words? When do I say it? And why must I say it at all? By coming up with an answer in the moment before speaking, anyone can start to avoid terrible slips in speaking judgment that can hurt themselves and others. But I Didn't Mean That! analyzes the most problematic speaking situations to show how the Q-points can be used to start conversing with empathy, confidence, and unimpeachable tact.

But I Didn't Mean That!