Is it possible to form lasting, healthy, loving relationships that are based on power, control and pain? Of course it is — if you approach it with common sense, care and affection. Respected scene leader Jack Rinella has carefully explored how BDSM relationships fit into the lives of real people of all genders and orientations. From that research, and his own two decades as a an active leatherman, he has assembled this sensible, readable manual about how kinky relationships really work. You'll learn how to decide what you want from a relationship, find partners, distinguish between fantasy and reality, negotiate agreements to accommodate your changing needs and desires, resolve conflicts, and much more.