Everyone would like to say they had a good, happy childhood, a nice home, with plenty of food, a loving family, supportive siblings, a friendly neighbourhood, friends, and who enjoyed school, and did well in their studies.
But that can't be said for Langley Badcock, or Lang for short—or gangly Langley as he often thought of himself. No, he was one of those kids we see in American movies who can't get a prom date, or in fact any date. But Melbourne didn't even have proms when Langley was growing up in the 1960s and early '70s. Just as well, he often thought when he saw those stoopid B-grade feel-good American teen movies, for he would never have been able to get a prom date. I mean, he was so ugly, as skinny as a blade of grass, scrawny, unkempt, and "known" to be a poof, that no girl would ever even look at him once, let alone twice. Besides, he went to an all-boys school, so where the hell would he come in contact with girls? Hire one for a prom?—now there's a business for an entrepreneur! Ask his sister if one of her ugly friends would pretend to be his date? And even if he could get a girl, he would loath to attend any public function for fear of being ridiculed, teased, bullied, and especially in front of a girl of all people!
No.... Better to skip social occasions altogether. He was destined to be just one of those boys who never fitted in, would never fit in.