Do people fully understand and appreciate the pain caused by being shamed and the deepening pain followed by blame? My personal experience, 40 years in practice and general understanding of society, tells me that few people do. Oftentimes, neither the person shamed nor those living with such people are aware of the painful cycle and its impact on their lives. For the person caught up in this cycle it is just a sense of emptiness, unworthiness and just not being good enough. The observer, on the other hand, is only aware of negative behaviour, which is more often than not judged harshly. This is the story of two people who have journeyed through this experience: One with a seemingly successful life as a doctor and the other' who struggled with drug-addiction, both caught up in the cycle of shame, blame and pain. The author also shares their continuing journey of rising above and living beyond this experience, hoping to help others recognise, understand and break free of this cycle.