The ultimate joke book with over 3,000 side-splitting jokes for every occasion, ranging from one-liners and observations, to classic stories that will provide hours of fun. Mike Haskins and Stephen Arnott collate this wonderful comedy-fest full of quick-fire one-liners, timely observations and rambling yarns – from the classic to the modern. This book contains quips for every occasion: from the best man's speech to a sales conference, or just for swapping around the dinner table. Arranged by subject matter, you'll always be able to find just the right joke for any situation. (Unless you're a child, because this book is strictly for adults only!) This hilarious collection will appeal to those who want to find a specific rib-tickler for an upcoming occasion, and to those who wants to settle down in an armchair and have a good old laugh. Jokes include: Tom's eyesight is getting very bad. He's had to get a special new pair of glassesto help him find where he left his old glasses. What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador. Today is the birthday of the inventor of the boomerang. I think we should all wish him Many Happy Returns. What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus. Settle in, and prepare to laugh your socks off!