I have three rules I live by when building multi-billion-dollar companies. Rule number one: don't sleep with your employees. Rule number two: never, ever, ever sleep with your employees. And Rule number three: listen idiot, she's obviously gorgeous. But you can't have her!

Only now... she quit... or she's leaving... or, whatever. I've had my eyes on her for two years. I practically get in my ten thousand steps each day just by making excuses to walk by her desk...catch a glimpse.

And now I seem to have contracted a serious case of coitus interruptus.

Suffering from love in an elevator? Not so fast. Hot and sweaty yet unfulfilled? You're suffering from the side effects of coitus interruptus.

Sex on the beach... sounds yummy. You might think so, but sand in the nether regions can be just another side effect of coitus interruptus. And the woman I am falling in love with... I actually think she is enjoying my misery.

I must have her!