You didn't vote for him, but you sure as hell can laugh at him. 

Donald Trump DOES NOT want you to read his (totally unauthorized and fictional) diary and he absolutely in no way wants you to know what insiders refer to as his "secret identity." 

We see a narcissist. 

But the president sees a ninja. Trump Ninja.

He's our overly-orange Duperhero who knows more than anyone else in the world about aliens, french fries, Keeping America an Embarrassment, and grabbing bikini babes by their whatevers.

In Trump Ninja vs. Area 51, our Colluder-in-Chief is determined to build a big beautiful wall around Area 51, to keep those unAmerican aliens out so they can't steal your tremendous low-paying American jobs and illegally use your non-universal healthcare.

EXCERPT FROM CLASSIFIED ENTRY INCLUDED BELOW:

Time for a little national security.

I don't think these grays should be allowed here, most of them. I'm sure a lot of them are fine, a lot of them are very nice, good, decent people, these grays, but you can't let these very bad chicos come through.

So, I go to town. Believe me. Some of the best and strongest fighting there's ever been anywhere, probably. Probably the biggest fight in the world. Intergalactic. You wouldn't believe it.

You're going to want to read this one right away.

Trump Ninja vs. Area 51. PAM! Go get it. 

Trump Ninja spin-kicks his way to the best-seller list with the super-secret (aka fictional) history of the most tremendous and best (I just vomited in my mouth a little) presidency America has ever seen. Trump Ninja vs. Area 51 is book one in the seven-book Trump Ninja series. Get them all today!