Take...

One mysterious package covered in bright blue cartoon wrapping paper delivered by an Armadillo on a twenty-speed Schwinn racing by at a high rate of speed.

Add...

Forty-eight hours to save my friends, my momma, and Gram-Gram from a revenant relative returned from the grave.

A seventeen-hour road trip to get help from the Almighty Shifter Wanker with my Queen-in-her-own-mind Eagle critiquing my choice in music and my inability to carry a tune in a bucket with a lid.

One essential, crucial, and had-to-happen trip to Buck's Stop-N-Go for cheesy puffs, black licorice, and a forty-four-ounce soda.

A super sexy Mule who comes to the rescue, saves my bootay from inevitable demise, and steals my heart.

And...

You've got the life of Edna Easterwing, aka me. All I wanted was a quiet day with my coffee, paperwork, and the Sanity-Challenged Shifters of Bailmore Hall – Instead...

I'm Feathered, Cursed, and Mated to an Ass...Midnight Margaritas, anyone?

All I can say is buckle up, Buttercup, it's time to get FLOCKED 'cause that's how we roll in Tallulu Parish!