My First Dictionary

ebook Corrupting Young Minds One Word at a Time

By Ross Horsley

cover image of My First Dictionary

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In this irreverently unsuitable primer, you'll learn ABCs like Abandonment, Boredom, Cutting and more!

Hello, boys and girls, and welcome to the wonderful world of words! You've learned the basics—from apple to zebra—but what about all those mysterious new terms you've heard the grown-ups whispering when you were supposed to be tucked up snugly in bed?

What makes Mommy so bitter? Where does Daddy conceal the door to his secret S&M dungeon? And why is everyone laughing about Grandma's latest delusion?

My First Dictionary answers these questions, and includes many other useful definitions, such as:

A burden is a source of worry or stress. Old people are usually burdens.

Father is nostalgic. He is remembering the happier times before you were born.

A puppy is a young dog. Connie gets a puppy every time she agrees not to tell. Daddy calls them hush puppies.

A zigzag is a jagged line. We can tell that Mother has been drinking when she drives in a zigzag pattern.

Carry a copy of My First Dictionary in your schoolbag and you'll never be at a loss for words again!

My First Dictionary