With a sharp wit, Suriano dives into the crazy and sometimes bizarre life of being a teenager with a fundamentalist religious parent.
"Early on, I'd learned the road to salvation was a stiff Bloody Mary with a leafy stalk of celery and a generous toothpick of charcuterie, or a sober trip to church, where we all praised Jesus for two hours before shoveling our gullets full of the Golden Corral's limitless buffet. Anything in between was the Devil's territory."