In a stunning debut that has been described as, "Philip K. Dick meets The Gilmore Girls" and "an action rollercoaster full of mind-shattering ideas," Sean O'Hara delivers an emotional powerhouse that's sure to be one of the best remembered fantasy novels of the — hey, stop skimming! Look, we all know the first paragraph in a publisher's synopsis is a load of laudatory drivel that's designed to make every crappy novel sound like Tolstoy, but you know, someone worked really hard on this drivel. This is more than just boilerplate. You have no idea how many hours it took to get a critic drunk enough to compare this book to Philip K. Dick. And you're going to skim to the plot synopsis?

Fine. That's the way you feel. This is the story of Erik Schumacher, an Ordinary Teenage Boy™ who's drafted into his high school's drama club after all the guys in the club mysteriously quit. He has no acting experience, but he has the two traits the girls in the club are looking for—namely he's a guy and he has a really cute butt. And what guy wouldn't want to be in a club with a dozen beautiful girls?

But strange things are afoot in the drama club, and Erik soon realizes that the fate of the world rests in his — wait, really? This sounds like an incredibly stupid anime with squeaky-voiced girls who all have preposterously colored hair, and you have absolutely no desire to watch it, but you're trying to get with this cute girl who's really into it, so you sit there all night and you want to tear your eyes out, but you don't dare say anything that might offend the girl, but when the show's finally over she just kicks you out without so much as a—

The publisher would like to apologise for the fault in the synopsis. Those responsible have been sacked. Also, we are currently looking for a copywriter. All applicants are welcome. No experience needed. We accept trained monkeys. We'll even consider an untrained one. Disgraced Congressmen. Anyone. Please apply.