Will I ever stop hurting the one person who's never hurt me?

I've done things I can never undo.
No matter how much I wish I could, sometimes the wounds I inflict are too deep, too catastrophic, too septic to heal.
As I look into the eyes of the only man I've ever loved I know I've gone too far. I've finally crossed the line.
Even if he knew my reason for doing this, he'd never forgive me.
He always puts my needs before his own.
Now it's my turn to protect him.
None of that matters though because the betrayal and disgust in his eyes comes from deep within his soul. There's no coming back from this.
He will forever be tormented by what he's seen, and he will never forgive me.
The last fragment of my heart to hold out hope that we'd share a future, withers and dies.