Harold Melman wanted nothing more than to successfully serve his country in the armed forces. Unfortunately, his clumsiness and lack of wit have prevented any branch of the armed services from taking him. So what's a wannabe hero to do? Gather a mismatched band of fighting fools, of course! Now leading an outrageous army, Melman goes forth as Capt. Pinhead to battle a yard full of gophers that turn out to be giant mole monsters intent destroying our species—along with every pair of socks owned by humankind!