Barry Freeman was born in 1976 in the village of Brexley in North Yorkshire, England. He had been carried to the village in the belly of his mother, Rita, who yearned to be close to her lover and his father, Roy Weston, who was in a vegetative state in a nearby nursing home. Mr. Weston was, of course, completely unaware of the existence of his son. For his part, Barry knew only two things for the first ten years of his life. First, his mother unreservedly loved him and second, he was a bastard. How did he know he was a bastard? Well, the boys at school told him he was. And so it became clear to him; he was indeed the Bastard of Brexley, This is Barry's story—his conflict with his nickname, his eventual discovery of his father, and the adventures which came of this.