GOOD GOD—YOU’RE DOING IT ALL WRONG . . .
 
The Association for the Betterment of Sex (A.B.S.) presents Sex: Our Bodies, Our Junk, a radical and invaluable resource for improving your sexual communication—whether you have been in a committed relationship for years, or have just moments ago removed the shrinkwrap from your new Japanese body pillow. 
 
Here are just a few sensual revelations you’ll find within these pages:
 
-    The precise location of the female G-spot (latitude and longitude)
-    “Going on tour with Midnight Oil” and more outmoded masturbation slang
-    Forced perspective and other techniques for visually enhancing the size of your member
-    The Top Five pastry-related euphemisms for female genitalia
-    How to score big at your next swingers’ party, with our crowd-pleasing ambrosia-salad recipe
-    Listings of “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” dry-cleaning services, for freshening up your vinyl fetishwear or adult-sized Tigger costume
-    Your first threesome, and how the ancient Mayans predicted it wouldn’t go over so hot
 
Exhaustively researched and fully illustrated, Sex: Our Bodies, Our Junk is a must-read for you, your sexual partner(s), and anyone who wishes there was more to sex than thrashing around for a few seconds and begging for forgiveness.