I own a small town bar and grill in the heart of Nowhere, Texas. My name is Mac McIntyre. My bar and I play host to the numerous characters passing through.

First there's Hank, a well-known country and western star, who employs Jerry, a highly skilled and just as highly paid chauffeur. I've always wondered why a chauffeur would study Zen philosophy and every form of martial arts, but then again, I guess it's none of my business.

Then there's Hank's sister, Sam, who just moved in, much to the disdain of Noreen, the resident air-head with a knack for sleeping around and hating girls prettier than her. Of course, I have no complaints against Sam, I owed Hank one. Besides, it's been a while and I needed a new waitress anyway, not that I'm trying anything. And Juan, the young boy living just over the border, can't be here every day to help. His English isn't even that great.

Then there are the rest of the residents of my bar here at the crossroads, all just trying to enjoy a drink without having to kill each other, or maybe just Noreen, first.

I've already been to Vietnam. I don't want to fight in any other wars.