Mike and Maddie, a young couple with a new baby, are rushing home to prepare for their first New Year's Eve party as a family. When they arrive, however, they're shocked to find their condo has been burgled. Even worse, the burglar is still there—passed out on their bed!

But New Year's Eve in Chicago means they're on a wait list for the cops. With Maddie's anti-city, pro-suburb Greek family due to arrive at any minute, they decide to take matters into their own hands. Which means this night is about to go from wacky to worse.

This is a farcical New Year's Eve romp, told in alternating first person, between Maddie and her best friend, Rio

*This was previously published as a short story. It has been expanded out to a 220-page novel.