<p>Life's a drag, and nobody knows that better than Bert. Bert wants to write. He<br>also wants to kill himself. He has composed a brilliant suicide note, but so far<br>his attempt at a brilliant suicide is as devoid of success as his writing career.<br>Not wanting to die wondering if his mother will fully comprehend his<br>note, Bert sets out to explain himself – in a footnote. A footnote that keeps<br>growing and growing like a monster wave.<br>Bert carries on living, for now, recounting his string of doomed relationships,<br>and bemoaning his dead-end job in a printing shop, and the fact that<br>he's 34 and still living with his mother.<br>But into the shop walks the mysterious Lelani Balt – Lightning Bolt – and<br>sparks begin to fly. Bert might finally have something to write about.</p>