I've no idea what's going in that pea-brained mind of yours.

Perhaps it's all that crack you've been smoking. Who knows? And who cares?

You are a scoundrel after all, so it isn't hard to see your angle.

Now you've set your sites on the ugliest girl in the room, if not on earth. Even though you've set the bar low—way low—you're not sure how to proceed. Perhaps you could use some advice before pissing your precious time and money away?

Good, for I have just the thing for you. From one scoundrel to another...

Approximately 11,000 words.