From the armpit of Hell to Lucifer-only-knows-where, West Virginia (Sue me! I lost the directions.) at the speed of light with my new bestie, Bert the imp and my hooker alter-ego, Lola without a plan or a clue. Yeah, that's the way we roll.

Ten days is all I have before the love of my life marries the Princess of Hell and my dreams for a smokingly hot happily-ever-after goes up in flames. It's DEF CON 666 and this girl is outta time and outta choices.

One of these Witches better have a plan to turn this Not-Quite Hellhound into a four-legged, butt-sniffing daughter of Cerberus or Satan himself is gonna make an appearance and we're all gonna be flambéed.

Time is running out, my fur coat is nowhere to be found, and all I can think about is jumping that Hunky Hellhound's bones…. Hades help us, who does a girl have to kill to get a quad shot, no foam, caramel macchiato in this one-horse town?

Hang on! Devilish Dips and Eye-Popping Mayhem coming up!