The Little Book of Bitchy of Thoughts is medicine for the Modern Age, straight from the cauldron of Elizabeth Fairlight. The author serves up a stinging philtre of pithy observations, acrid humor, and even the occasional honest aphorism.

Quotes from the book:

If your child says, "Hey, lady," to get the attention of a sales clerk, you're lower-class. If your child says, "Excuse me, Ma'am," then you're middle-class, or higher. This is an infallible indicator.

'Washington, D.C. is the third-world capital of a first-world country.'

'Opera is only vaudeville with attitude.'

'I'm always amazed by admonitions to love thy neighbor. Once God wises up to the fact that not everything on this Earth is worth loving, he would become a smarter God. It would be better to say, 'love thy neighbor, if thy neighbor is worthy of it.'