The smartest and funniest quotations of all time, artfully arranged into witty—and surprising—categories. Every page will entertain, educate, and delight.

Uncle John’s dedicated team of quotationeers have scoured the worlds of entertainment, history, literature, politics, sports, and more to bring you this unique collection of utterances that bear repeating. From silly to profound, from Aristotle to Mr. T, you’ll discover insights on such topics as love, sex, conspiracies, boredom, cheese, juggling, and the true meaning of belly-button lint.

Here are but a few of the thousands of morsels awaiting you: