在"如何教育孩子"这个问题上，已经有无数的作者提出了数不清的具体建议。我不是在重复他们已经做过的工作。我之所以写这本书，是因为我认为他们的不少建议过于想当然了。想一下，如果他们的建议真的很实用，那么岂不是每一个读过它们的家长都再也不必为教育问题烦恼了？在现实中，总有些特别幸运的家长，他们的孩子天资高、自制力强、情商高。在那样的家庭里，家长和孩子之间的关系往往是良性循环，双方也更容易建立起彼此之间的信任，家长也就比较容易实施自己的教育计划，即便家长在某些方面做得不够好，孩子也不太令人担心。然而，多数家长毕竟没那么幸运，他们的孩子天资不很出色、自制力不很强、情商不很高。在这样的家庭里，很多听上去很好的教育方法用在孩子身上时却并不管用，有时甚至起到反作用，因此，家长经常感到不知所措。本书就是写给"普通孩子"的家长们的。它通过９个事实，详细说明了这样一个主题：教育过程中充满了各种各样的矛盾，其中很多不可能从根本上解决，在这些矛盾面前，每个教育者（没有例外，不论他多有水平和经验）都应该承认自己的无知。教育孩子没有一定之规，家长要想做得好一点，就需要有独立思考的能力，具体问题具体分析，而不是盲目学习别人的经验。本书有两位作者，虽然我是执笔人，但这是我和我的妻子崔燕波的共同作品。她是一名中学老师，恰好弥补了我在学校教育经验方面的不足，书中很多内容是我们两人在无数次讨论中产生思想碰撞的结果。(The question "how should children be educated" has been answered by countless writers with innumerable concrete recommendations.I'm not repeating what they have done.The reason why I write this books is that I think they took many of the suggestions for granted.Think about it, if their suggestions are really practical, isn't it that every parent who has read them will no longer have to worry about education?In reality, however, there are always some lucky parents whose children are talented, self-disciplined and have high EQ.In a family like that, the parent-children relationship is in a virtuous cycle, in which it's easy for both parties to build mutual trust and for parents to carry out their education plans. Even though parents do not do well enough in some aspects, children will not make them worried.Most parents, however, are less fortunate with less talented and less self-disciplined children whose EQ is lower.In a family like this, many educational methods that sound good do not apply to children and sometimes may have adverse effect. Therefore parents often feel perplexed.This book is for parents who have "average children".Through 9 facts, it explains in details the following theme:the educational process is full of contradictions, many of which can't be fundamentally solved. So in the face of the contradictions, every educator (with no exception despite his level and experience) should admit his ignorance.There is no fixed pattern of educating children. If parents want to do a better job, they should be able to think independently and make analysis on a case-by-case basis, rather than simply imitate the experience of others.The book has two authors. Although I did the actual writing, this is a joint work by my wife Cui Yanbo and me.She is a middle school teacher, which makes up for my lack of educational experience at schools. A large part of the contents are results of collision of ideas in our countless discussions.)