In the author's own words, “These are classics in my own mind.”

Readers beware! Some of you will be shocked by parts of this book.

Vegetarians may be disturbed by turkeys on the menu, or kiddies in a witch's freezer. Others could well get excited by all the chopping, reaping and killing or be offended by the mushy poems professing love.

If you prefer a little titillation, be warned, there are no refunds or compensation for bruised buttocks from the house of sin.

Not put off by any of the above?

Maybe just a bit by the mushy love

Desensitised to violence and killing?

Though the titillation might be thrilling

Rhyming or not, it's all the same

Sounds as if you would be game

So take the plunge, if you dare

Then leave a review — it shows you care.