I felt miserable, but I wanted to feel nothing at all. Except, there were times when I felt nothing at all and made me feel more miserable. Days and weeks passed where I had nothing but traumatic memories to keep me company. Those memories dominated my life until I could not work. When I could no longer work, I moved back into my parent's house and into my old room. There was one escape given to me from the goddess. A serum that made me metal and saved me from bad memories and recurring thoughts. The only drawback was if I injected the entire syringe, I could no longer have the option of children.