Seminar paper from the year 2008 in the subject Computer Science - Applied, grade: 1.7, University of Hildesheim, 12 entries in the bibliography, language: English, abstract: Spreadsheets must work. Given the current status of perfect theory, hackers worldwide particularly desire the analysis of the Turing machine. We disprove not only that consistent hashing can be made linear-time, constant-time, and "smart", but that the same is true for scatter/gather I/O.